Five years ago I met my partner and was immediately infatuated with this guy. He's a kind, down-to-earth type with an interesting perspective of living. It was only the second time I had visited him at his place of living arrangement, forever changing and realizing a lot of what I had been unconsciously aware of for so long. What is our purpose here on earth if we are not to attending the actions we perpetuate, directly or indirectly? If we cannot watch or hear the basic principles of sustenance, how can we trust others to make that decision for us?
I grew up a simple way. In a cute small river town, encouraged independence in us as children to go out and play, my mama cookin' lots of pork chops and mashed potatoes, delicious. My parents worked hard, in fact, retrospectively, us children did little to provide support back to them. They did everything, laundry, cooked, cleaned, shopped, clothed, drove us to school every morning and still then going to work, for us. You don't really realized how hard that is until you become an adult and feel regret for being so unhelpful. It's the American way though, spoiled rotten little twerps we were. When I moved out, I sat at their table. Little money, paying the rent. Some company, all by effort. Cleaning, dog hair forever. Cooking, wishing I watched Pops do it. Everything was new in my tiny reality, but not in the fact that I was privileged enough to have it handed to me out of the goodness of my family's heart (because apparently they have one, folks).
So back to that point of the direct-indirect realization I had with my boyfriend, at the time a guy I'm dating and getting to know. He tells me he needs to butcher a rooster as a warning, if I wanted to watch. But you bet this wanna be farm-girl, veterinary assistant, collector of oddities but still mostly vegetarian is going to attend the deed. So, we catch the rooster, he carries him gently to the post, ties the creature upside down, and cut the throat to bleed out. He's sitting beside this animal, barefoot and calm, on a really gorgeous day. My mind and body really took this moment in and I realized for the first time ever- if this is the way it could be, aside all of the other ways I've known it... that that is the choice I make. And I started eating some meat again, that he raised and cooked for me.
This is how disconnected I was from the basic necessities of the human longing of raising, hunting, cultivating, nourishing and sustaining a healthy existence. I was forever changed in one moment and grew a entirely different sense of purpose than ever before. Food came from a farm, not a grocery store. Animals can grow up on land, not in a feed lot. Free-range small flock eggs were so delicious that today I even eat them raw. My mind spiraled in and out of control by my new found love that functions as an antidepressant to this day of a honest hearty lifestyle. I'm inspired each and every moment by the things I teach myself, share and experience with others, including the same they do onto me. It's the basic fundamentals of life and community, and absolutely nurturing to the soul.
Despite it's hardships, challenges and heartbreak, some time ago I choose to die in this hill. Because it's a very fun climb to the top. It's worth every while.
I grew up a simple way. In a cute small river town, encouraged independence in us as children to go out and play, my mama cookin' lots of pork chops and mashed potatoes, delicious. My parents worked hard, in fact, retrospectively, us children did little to provide support back to them. They did everything, laundry, cooked, cleaned, shopped, clothed, drove us to school every morning and still then going to work, for us. You don't really realized how hard that is until you become an adult and feel regret for being so unhelpful. It's the American way though, spoiled rotten little twerps we were. When I moved out, I sat at their table. Little money, paying the rent. Some company, all by effort. Cleaning, dog hair forever. Cooking, wishing I watched Pops do it. Everything was new in my tiny reality, but not in the fact that I was privileged enough to have it handed to me out of the goodness of my family's heart (because apparently they have one, folks).
So back to that point of the direct-indirect realization I had with my boyfriend, at the time a guy I'm dating and getting to know. He tells me he needs to butcher a rooster as a warning, if I wanted to watch. But you bet this wanna be farm-girl, veterinary assistant, collector of oddities but still mostly vegetarian is going to attend the deed. So, we catch the rooster, he carries him gently to the post, ties the creature upside down, and cut the throat to bleed out. He's sitting beside this animal, barefoot and calm, on a really gorgeous day. My mind and body really took this moment in and I realized for the first time ever- if this is the way it could be, aside all of the other ways I've known it... that that is the choice I make. And I started eating some meat again, that he raised and cooked for me.
This is how disconnected I was from the basic necessities of the human longing of raising, hunting, cultivating, nourishing and sustaining a healthy existence. I was forever changed in one moment and grew a entirely different sense of purpose than ever before. Food came from a farm, not a grocery store. Animals can grow up on land, not in a feed lot. Free-range small flock eggs were so delicious that today I even eat them raw. My mind spiraled in and out of control by my new found love that functions as an antidepressant to this day of a honest hearty lifestyle. I'm inspired each and every moment by the things I teach myself, share and experience with others, including the same they do onto me. It's the basic fundamentals of life and community, and absolutely nurturing to the soul.
Despite it's hardships, challenges and heartbreak, some time ago I choose to die in this hill. Because it's a very fun climb to the top. It's worth every while.
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